An unidentified married man has cried out over the dwindling sex life with his wife. He lamented that since the birth of their second child, he has gone months without performing his conjugal duties.
He wrote:
“Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.
My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.
Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.
Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn’t follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.
So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.
As you could imagine, you can’t really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn’t something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.
I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.
We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she’s into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn’t tolerate.
I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it’s more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.
Anyway, it’s been quite a while without sex and I don’t know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.
I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you’re doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?”